I have heard and watched the push/pull between men and women for years:
-Who should call first?
-Who should say the 4-letter word first?
-Who should apologize first?
and so on and so on… Needless to say, it is probably one of the silliest debates that I’ve ever heard. Not calling any one silly in particular, but the concept of the argument is definitely questionable.
We all remember the initial stages of meeting someone, right? You exchange numbers and anticipate getting to know the person better. One day goes by… you glance at your phone every now and then, looking for that call or text and nothing. You don’t want to initiate the call out of fear of looking “desperate.” Low and behold, he/she is feeling the same way. So who makes the first call? Ladies and gentlemen, we are NOT in high school here. Two completely grown and mature adults should not be concerned with thought’s of who should make the first move. If you are genuinely interested, call! Sounds simple, right?!? Ladies, I understand you may have had some bad experiences in the past where a man may have viewed your calling first as desperation. I can hear him talking to his homies now, “man this is her calling already! She must be in need of some…”… well… you catch my drift. That is a childish mentality and if that was the case, he didn’t deserve you anyway. Fellas, I understand your experiences as well. You may have reached out to a woman whose number you received, and she considered it “thirsty.” I can here her talking to her girls now, “Oh goodness girl! He just got the number! His thirsty a$$ won’t get no play like that!” The truth of the matter is, if she feels like that she is immature as well. Don’t waste anymore of your time, it probably won’t go anywhere.
Who even made up all of these dating rules and stipulations anyway?!?! What happened to going with the flow? In the process of courting, naturally, that is what happens… You meet, exchange numbers, a conversation occurs from it and you go from there.
Do what you feel… Don’t overthink it. Don’t even get your friends opinion on it. That causes conflict too… For instance, let’s say you want to make the initial call, as a matter of fact, you know you will. But you ask your friend what should you do (because no one can make a decision these days without their friends input, right?) and they are like, “girllll don’t do it! You make him call first if he wants you!” Or your boys are like, “Nah dude! That’s lame, you’ll look thirsty if you call first!” Your initial intentions will be skewed by the thoughts of some one else. How does that sound? How can a friend dictate your dating life? Will they be in the relationship as well? I sure hope not!
I know rejection is rough, and no one wants to be rejected. But quite frankly, you can’t be scared of it if you are partaking in the dating arena. If it is a connection that’s not meant to be, then so be it. At least you tried. Eventually you will meet the person who is supposed to be in your life.