Reciprocity… Or The lack Thereof
Reciprocity. Ahhh… This word is one of my faves. Why? Because, that’s truly all that we ever want, right? Think about your life, and all of the things that have ever made you angry. Now think about the root cause of that anger; the issue may lie in someone not doing something that you thought they should regardless of what that may have been. In all of our human relations that is essentially what we look for. Mostly because of what we give out.
When you pour into other people soooooo much, you expect to be filled up in return. When you are unrealistically loyal to others, even more so than what you are to yourself, you expect them to be loyal back. When you extend your trust, you expect to be trusted as well. When you uplift others, you expect them to uplift you. When you support others, you expect them to support you. When you celebrate others, you expect them to celebrate you. Are you following? It is absolutely natural to have that expectation because… ultimately, no one wants to feel used. No one wants to exhaust all of their energy making others feel good (in whatever way that may be), only to never receive that feeling in return.
Think about all of the old sayings:
What you send out comes back.
You reap what you sow.
You get what you give out.
What you see in others exist in YOU.
Do not judge or you will be judged.
Give love, and love will come back to you.
Whether you want to believe it or not, all of those ancient sayings are brought about through the universal law of cause and effect. AND, how we relate to others and what we feel we receive or not receive operates on the exact same wavelength as that law. (click the “ANALYSIS” tab to continue reading)
This is why the need to reciprocate is so important in relationships! Not giving such will leave one part of the unit feeling sad, disappointed, and empty which is the exact opposite of what a relationship should be… Especially a functional one. And… there is nothing that seems too “simple” or to “elaborate” when it comes to reciprocation. It could be something as simple as buying flowers for your wife to show appreciation for her hard work around the house. Or, something as elaborate as a friend helping you with your taxes throughout the year and several years later when that friend opens a business to do just that, you invest in it.
Let’s explore the behavior that begins to show up in your relationships when you don’t feel like you are getting back what you are giving out.
- Anger: YES… anger. Because, when you feel like you are not getting what you need, that’s what you become, right?!? And rightfully so, since you are not showing up for YOURSELF (i.e. getting what you need from your relationship).
- Irritation: Your family, friends, significant other, children, etc. can’t seem to understand it when you become moody. Meaning, you don’t really want to be bothered. You appear to be snappy at the slightest things. You just don’t…feel…like…entertaining…humans.
- Seclusion: You don’t really like feeling angry and irritated all the time either, and you do notice that this is occurring. So, naturally, you start to seclude yourself. From all of those who you feel don’t appreciate you… your friendship… your companionship… your work… your help for gods sake, or what you bring to the table. And just to be clear, seclusion doesn’t necessarily have to be hiding in your home. It could be shortened conversations, distance, or anything that allows you to mentality retreat and receive a sense of peace.
(click the “RESOLUTION THRU HEALING” tab to continue reading)
RESOLUTION THRU HEALING
Whew! This one will be short and sweet because it is so crystal clear on what we need to do.
We are at a point in universal evolution where this cycle must END! You can’t be any good to yourself if you are overexerting yourself in your relationships. It feels good to say I’m a loyal person, doesn’t it? It feels good to say I support everyone and their businesses, right? It feels good to say when people call on me I am there. But what doesn’t feel good is the lack thereof that you receive in return.
Sooo… just stop it… STOP IT! Yes, those are great qualities to possess and there is no harm in giving them out, BUT, give them to the right people! Everyone isn’t here for you. Everyone isn’t here to support you. And that’s quite alright as well. In the essence of individual journeys, you can’t control who do and don’t show up for you. So SHOW UP for your damn self! Make the decision to do so. We have to stop with putting everyone else’s needs and wants before our own. If you are not getting back what you are giving out, remove yourself from the equation. PERIOD. Don’t keep holding on to hope, the hope that people will change and start to reciprocate your actions because that’s not necessarily true. People change when they want that change for themselves, NOT FOR OTHERS.
So keep your energy… Spread it out to those who are deserving and trust me when you do, those individuals will give it back to you.