The “D” Word

The “D” Word

By T. Marie on June 24, 2019 in Recent Post

Divorce is probably one of the most feared words for both men + women. But… it shouldn’t be. Here are a few reasons why:

  • There are tons of factors that can influence the decision to permanently dissolve a marriage. As disheartening as it may seem, there are a tremendous amount of people who enter marriage knowing that they have chosen the wrong spouse and proceed anyway. What this means is, they proceeded with the wedding knowing that there was an innate tingling in their gut telling them that they should probably think twice about moving forward. They stay, mostly for some reason or another (whether that is to save face, financial benefits, the children, etc.). I know for sure that it is actually quite tough to sit with yourself and own 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 decision in selecting the person that you did, but it is also imperative to do. I’m not saying that you should scream it from the mountain tops or express your faults to the world of social media (as a matter of fact, I encourage you not to go that route). However, it is important that you look in the mirror and accept your role in it all, forgive yourself, set a different expectation of yourself, and move forward. All is well {be gentle with yourself}. Even though it may seem like the end of the world, it really isn’t. It is a chance to start fresh though. Evaluate yourself, your decisions, and act upon your own healing before seeking another partner.
    All is not lost. I promise.
  • Everyone is not meant for every one. We also witness quite a bit of people just trying to get with any and everybody {even if that means imposing on someone else’s household}. Not only is this exhausting, but it is the quickest route to self-destruction. Relationships really are a 𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹 endeavor. We fall into deep confusion when we ignore that small little fact (which is frequently these days). There is a thing called a natural attraction. So, that pulling, that immediate magic and attachment, that 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 when you’ve met “the one”, is all a part of a deeper understanding that you may not necessarily be conscious of in the moment. Furthermore, it is possible for two people to just not mesh with one another. And again, that’s perfectly fine.
  • Knowing and understanding yourself and your purpose in life can also coincide with the beginning + ending of a union. In some cases, it may not have been meant for one partner to walk the rest of your life with you. Maybe {just maybe}, that person was meant to get you to a specific point of growth and that’s all. Mission complete. And, the next phase of your journey may be continued with someone else. When you understand your path, you won’t be so quick to judge yourself for dissolving your marriage, or even your partner for that matter.

Many individuals struggle with comprehending divorce because they associate the word with failure. Marriage is a huge goal, especially for a lot of women, so when it doesn’t work out it’s a blow to the ego. To add to the struggle, I believe that another reason why more people aren’t even getting married is because they fear divorce. There is a tremendous amount of people who meet their life partner the first go around, and there are some who do not. The highlight, though, is always shined upon the latter. Since that is all that we see, along with the disdain that the public attaches to it, it is understandable that we fear that the most. In the pursuit of a happy relationship, the most important goal is to ensure that it is rooted in love and good intentions. If it is, you will never have to worry about making a bad decision because your heart + mind was clear of all superficial intent from the start. However, when it is not, try not to judge yourself too harshly and be the first to admit your fault in it. It will help with digesting it a bit, and changing your course moving forward.

Remember, life is about choices, so choose wisely… Until next time…

Unconditionally,

T. Marie

2 comments

  • Lala love
    Lala love - reply

    This is so on point. From beginning to the end touching on topics and reasons why ppl divorce, the stigma behind it, as well as why some people are deciding to stay single longer. More people should evaluate themselves first before enter a union that will impact their lives and learn to be okay with the process at whatever stage it’s in.

    T. Marie - reply

    Thank you! And I agree! When we move about, making life changing decisions {unconsciously}, we hardly ever want to deal with the fall out from them. There is much to unpack with how we relate today, versus the evolution of… I’m looking forward to the journey. 🙂

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