#2 Reason Relationships Crumble

FINANCES! Yup, financial woes are the #2 reason why relationships go down the drain. There is nothing wrong with having a “bread-winner” in the house; those aren’t the issues that I’m concerned with. As a matter of fact, being a stay-at-home moms or dad is usually negotiated with the partner upfront. The spouse is usually very much aware of the financial responsibility that will fall on them as a result, and they are ok with it. Nope, let’s not discuss those. Let’s discuss the subliminal issues that cause financial woes that no one wants to talk about! It’s a tough conversation, but it must be had, and maybe afterward we can stop pointing the finger at each other regarding whose fault it is.

Let’s start with the obvious…

The Gold Digger with Goals. Unfortunately, the ladies are usually guilty of this behavior. She’s a woman digging for gold with goals (the goal of being a kept woman that is). Normally, this chic in particular is on the prowl for a specific type of man. He has to be ready made, established, and can provide her with the lifestyle that she desires. These women are normally gorgeous with abnormally perfect bodies, so it’s never hard to attract the type of man that they are looking for. She has expensive taste and wants nothing but the best of cars, clothes, jewelry, homes etc. I don’t fault her though; the men who pursue her know exactly what she’s bringing (which is expensive habits). Everything is great in the beginning; money is not a problem. Until you’ve taken out one too many loans on homes and cars etc. and you can no longer afford thousand dollar bags and shoes. You start borrowing money from everyone to keep up the “lifestyle.” Then all of a sudden there’s a problem in the household. You can no longer afford to keep her. Ironically men, for some reason, cannot understand why this woman is acting different all of a sudden. The reality is that… IT’S NOT SUDDEN AT ALL! You can no longer PROVIDE her with the life that she desired! Now she has to go… Are you surprised? You shouldn’t be. The foundation of the relationship was finances, and now they are gone. Bye bye to the broke ex and on to the next. It’s ok fellas, you knew what the relationship was about when you met her. Hold yourself accountable. You may have lied to yourself about what you wanted it to be, but face the reality of it. Chop it up as a loss, and hopefully learn some-damn-thing from your mistake.

The Risk Taker. Fellas, this is for you (although some women could fit the bill too). Come close and listen… closer… CUT IT OUT with these get rich quick schemes!!! I’m sorry, but it just won’t start raining money. No one became a millionaire overnight… well… unless they were a trust fund baby, but that’s beside the point. You won’t ironically become the SVP of some pyramid based company; it is highly unlikely that you can send $5,000k to some random person in India and they give you back $100,000k in return; No! No, no, no, none of it will work! Please do not take you AND your wife’s retirement fund and expect to “flip” it. What happens when the flip actually flop? There is no more savings, and the household is now in a financial bind. Unfortunately, this is what crumbles marriages. The wife will never be able to let go of the fact that everything you all built together is now down the drain. Sorrow will turn to resentment, and conversations to arguments. The household will be bitter and no one is happy. Who wants to live their life like that? It’s very hard to come back from this pitfall. Ties will be severed and so will the bond.

The Shopper. This is a two-sided coin. I know men who spend wayyyyy too much, and women. Let’s look at a couple of examples: If you have a woman that is fascinated by Gucci, Louis Vuitton, and the like; initially, you will want to please her. However, those 1, 2, and 3 thousand dollar habits will add up… and quick! If you aren’t a celebrity, which you probably aren’t, you will feel that dent in your pockets! So what do you do, go broke for a bag or leave? Most men will leave. You will never be able to afford a woman like that, so it’s better to sever your ties. On the flip side, if you have a man that loveeeessss fast cars, rims, paint jobs, strip clubs etc.; to the point that that’s the first thing he spends his money on, you may want to run. I mean, prior to paying the rent and grocery shopping he’s at Spiffed-Up Auto, purchasing the latest Asanti wheels out! As a woman, you may want to question his priorities. He’s probably not too concerned with saving for the future, or building a financial empire for that matter. He’s more concerned with the size of his wheels and the horsepower in his engine. A woman usually won’t want to waste her time there, he clearly isn’t interested in building with her.

The bottom line is: ones financial irresponsibility will impact the whole house. Homes are not built on instability. If you are trying to build with your partner, get their input before impulse purchases (big or small). Have a conversation before you make a senseless decision. Make your partner feel as if they are a part of the decision making process. You never know, they may be the person that save you from your downfall.