Lessons To Learn From 2015

By T. Marie on January 19, 2016 in RELATIONSHIP ANALYSIS

We all want to be that super friend, right? Or most of us do anyway… That friend who is always accessible; morning, noon, and night. That friend who, if nothing else, people can always call loyal, committed, and trustworthy. That friend who tries with every breath in them to give good, solid advice. That friend who wants more for their friends than the friends do… (I know that was a tongue twister, but keep up with me!) That friend who… well… is by definition A GOOD FRIEND.

The only problem is, good friends are not appreciated, and definitely not wanted all of the damn time. As a matter of fact, being the super friend might get you caught up in some mess that will leave you like… wait… what just happened? Yes, it’s true! Being the super friend might leave you friend-LESS, for alllllll of the reasons below:

#1 – As people, we control our situations. We control those things that we entertain, and those that we ignore. We control who is in our presence, who we choose to pass by, as well as what we tolerate from those in our presence. So let’s get straight to the point… You CANNOT give your friends advice or feedback on any damn thing that they are going through. I don’t care if they ask for it, they really don’t want to hear it. They will listen for the sake of pacifying themselves, but they could care less about what is rolling off your tongue. You know how you can tell? If they did care, they would implement at least one piece of advice that you have given them to correct their situation (whatever that may be). How often do you see that happen? I’ll wait… Getting involved in their shit will put the shit right on your plate. Next thing you know, it is more of your problem than it is theirs! The messiness has now left their house, and somehow ended up in yours. Now how is that? How is it that you call yourself helping a friend; picking them up when they are in need, giving them advice when they ask, and you somehow end up inheriting the problem? Just say NO! No one wants to inherit shit. Yes, it is totally fine to be an ear, besides, good friends listen as well. Everything doesn’t warrant an action or response. Let your friends call you and vent if they need to, but don’t soak it up and become a piece of the puzzle. That’s the key to being a super… Know your role in the friendship before you end up with the baggage.

#2 – There is a thin line between friendships and loveships. Please know which lane to stay in. A friend can never ever everr everrrr tell another friend anything about their man/woman. You will end up being the bad person in the mix. Next thing you know, you’re hearing:

“You’re a hater!”

“You just don’t want to see anyone happy!”

“You need some business!”

“You’re jealous and need some D!”

Whatever it may be, never insert yourself into the equation. It’s none of your business. No matter how much your friend tells you they would want to know, they really don’t… No really, they don’t! It sounds good coming out of their mouth, but when the reality comes, they will find a way to flip it back on you. Besides, whatever there is to know, the person is more than likely already aware. You just don’t know it…

#3 – Don’t overcrowd your friends… Being needy and obnoxious will leave you friend-LESS… There are boundaries to be understood, and lanes to stay in. Everyone needs the right mix of friends, romance, family, and work. However, if your friend finds themselves hanging with you and your man, while coming to family outings, and riding with you to work… When the hell do you get a free moment?!?! I know I’m an introvert, but you can’t tell me that normal people don’t get a bit tired of this behavior too… *side eye* I’m just saying, get some time to yourself. Go do something that you enjoy, possibly by yourself. Spend some time with your own thoughts. It is actually refreshing to just… be… sometimes. Again, it’s all about the right mix. That mix won’t leave you friend-LESS.

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