#RelationshipGoals

#RelationshipGoals

By T. Marie on January 18, 2017 in RELATIONSHIP ANALYSIS

In light of Obama’s farewell address and the LIFE that we got from it, I think it’s only proper that I take a moment to highlight his marriage and relationship. Barack and Michelle appear to embody the characteristics that every.single.woman wants in their relationship/marriage. They seem to love one another unconditionally, while having fun and making power moves together. The public affection that he shows her is something that a lot of women crave from their men. The fact that he publicly shows appreciation for her and acknowledges her contribution to his life, both personally and professionally, is commendable (again, something that most women want). Their relationship to the public eye is healthy and functional, and is indeed everything that we would want a relationship to possess today. Yes, there may be a valid argument that this is the Chief of Command, so there is almost a duty there to do such things in the public eye. But, in my opinion, this appears to be a genuine connection. However…

… let’s discuss how they may have gotten to that point. We see Barack and Michelle today, at 55 and 52 years old, with their shit together with relating and what not. According to news article, they have a 20 (+/-) year relationship. Yes, 20 YEARS! That’s 20 YEARS to conquer issues… 20 YEARS of working on bettering SELF… 20 YEARS of disagreeing at some point…. 20 YEARS of working through those disagreements… 20 YEARS of growth… 20 YEARS which may have included some struggle (financially) or otherwise when trying to accomplish what they have today (because I’m sure it wasn’t easy). Bottom line, I’m positive that the cohesiveness of their relationship did not happen overnight. Hell, realistically, I know plenty of people, including in my own family who have been married much longer. My parents have been married roughly 40 years, and they can attest to the trials and tribulations that may have shown its face at such young ages, that they had to grow through (emphasis on GROW). WE have to grow through some of the trivial issues to get to the point of where we see the POTUS & FLOTUS at today. I say “trivial” because some things may appear to be so small, yet, they turn out to be biggggg issues. Some may take a years of self-work, and couples work to get through. However, it is possible! Remember the YEARS that we talked about above?

So, how can we expect overnight perfection? All of the post and statuses acknowledging their relationship and how it’s what women want, but no one wants to put in the time, effort, or work to get there?

Nothing is perfect, or even comes close to it without doing the work.

Even in our day jobs, you don’t get promoted for sitting on your ass, do you? You don’t just “become” a doctor without studying medicine, do you? All of it takes work and the same goes for your relationship! So… find someone that you genuinely love and care for, and be patient… work through your issues, grow through your immaturities, suppress your ego, love unconditionally, appreciate the good times and heal from the bad, so that one day you too can wake up and realize that you are living in the bliss that you once hoped for. But be realistic with yourself. If this is what you want, you can get it, but no one can wave a magic wand and give it to you. Put in what you would like to get out. 20 relationships in 20 years may not get you there OR 1 stagnant relationship in 20 years. The want and need to grow together have to be mutual for both parties. Are you ready to do the work?

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