How many people do you know (either yourself or other), that hop from one LOVEship to the next? Never giving themselves a chance to heal, or even to grow for that matter? *I’m raising my hand right now* I like to just sit back and watch… People (mostly women, but men are not excluded) post on social media, telling their friends how they are in love with this grrrrreat man! He does this and that, and most of all, makes them happy! Great, right?!?! Who wouldn’t be happy to see someone else happy (although I know there are people who fit into this category but still…)?
Until a couple of months pass and you start seeing the “angry” post! “Men ain’t shit!” “If he can’t be faithful to me then he deserve to be single!” “He wasn’t no good anyway…” so on and so on… You feel bad for your FBF, because no woman deserves to go through such messiness, right?! Furthermore, who wants to be cheated on?
A couple of weeks pass and here comes another series of post… about her NEW man! Who, by the way, is even greater than the last! And let’s not forget that he is more of a man too. He cooks, cleans, mows the lawn, and brings home the bread and butter. That’s fine and dandy and all, but what is wrong with this picture? You just had two boyfriends in 4 months? Where is your healing time? Or your reflection period? The moments where you sit back and contemplate what went wrong in the relationship, and work on yourself to fix it in the next? And let’s not play the blame game. We all have flaws that we can work on being “better” at… even if they continue to show their face every now and then, at least know how to handle them.
Now fellas, you’re not exempt… Yall loveee to bring yall female friends around the homies. Bragging about how stacked she is, and how she is model material. On top of the physical, she has some added bonuses! She has her own home, career, etc. You move in, because you want to lock down this PYT. Fast forward a couple of months… You’re at the barbershop venting about how she gets on your damn nerves! She complains and nags all of the time, and you can never get any rest. Nothing that you do around the house is ever good enough for her and you are just ready to bounce! Unfortunately, you moved from your last girl’s house, straight into your new chics, so you have nowhere to go. You lived with your parents before you started shacking up with women, so you don’t know what it is like to live alone. You need that “motherly” love… someone to take care of you, cook, and clean. But the side effects of that is also someone telling you what you can and can’t do, and possibly nagging. You are in her house, so quite naturally, she wants you to live by her rules.
Granted, both situations are merely examples, but very true examples indeed! We have to do better about taking some time to get to know ourselves. What are our own short comings? What do we bring to the table, and what do we need brought to the table? What can we work on and be better about? Attitude? Finances? Independence? Emotional instability?
Ladies, take some time in between relationships. Enjoy the single life, and work on yourself in the process. Think about what you can do to enhance yourself. And don’t do it for the sake of the man! Do it for your own growth and freedom. Besides, if you are taking a man right out the bed of another woman, how much can you really expect from him?
Fellas, your partner should come into your life and add to your greatness. If that person is weighing you down, OR if you are weighing her down, why are yall together? Work on yourself and your stability. Get your finances in order and sustain a home of your own. Cook for yourself, and clean your own house. Learn independence before you bring a woman into the picture. And if you are stable, but the woman that you bring is not, think about why you chose her. Was it for the right reasons? If not, then you have no right to complain about what she has to offer. We all have a choice in the matter when it comes to who we choose. Why not accept our responsibility in it?